The question “how to save my marriage” often comes up way too late
This is especially true for anyone who are ignorant of their own marriage life; suddenly the divorce paper is show up and they don’t even know what had happened. But if you are at least have ordinary marriage life where you still care for your partner, you’ll notice if the divorce is coming and you still can do something about it.
There are many reasons for marital conflicts; your spouse may simply say “I don’t love you anymore”, but there are surely a number of factors behind it. Below are a few things that likely cause a marital conflict:
1. The two of you lack communication because you both has time consuming job. When there is no communication, it is like sharing a bed with a total stranger.
2. There is other man/woman. Affair might be happen from time to time, especially if your spouse feels that he/she has encountered someone who he/she can share his/her passions; in this case, the passion that you don’t have.
3. You don’t respect your partner. You always want everything carried out in your way and overlook his/her thought. It doesn’t matter whether you believe you are right or even if you ARE right; the point of living together in a marriage are respecting and honoring your partner way of thinking.
Either way, when you realize the crumble in your marriage, do not panic. Sit down and think calmly; ask yourself “how to save my marriage?” The first thing to avoid is act on your emotion. You are feeling hurt, so you try to hurt your partner back. You stop sharing and begin arguing with him/her over small matter. You keep looking for your partner bad side and always criticize him/her for that. You won’t admit that you HAVE a marriage problem and decline to seek professional help. These things can happen if you just follow your instinct.
“So what should i do Alan? How to save my marriage when she/he doesn’t seem to care about me anymore?” When the love dies, all you need to do is lit it back. If you think that you still wish to be with your lover and you still love him/her, then learn to show your love and make him/her realize. You must CHANGE.
Here is the idea: marriage is when two people live together and grow over time; there isn’t any status quo, you’re either growing apart or growing together. Being live together and understanding each other well, your behaviors have great influence in your partner. Don’t trust me? Note that you should have replicated something from your partner; it could be taste on foods or designs, how you state certain things, the way you handle troubles, and so on.
What does it convey? It implies that by putting your best attempt to change and fix your marriage, your partner will be affected, regardless of whether he/she wants it or not. No, it’s not a walk in the park, but it is much better than sulking while thinking “Is this my fault? When did it started? How to save my marriage? How to get out from this situation?“
Changing yourself to save your marriage will need effort, determination, and commitment, but you can start by respecting your partner. In fact, not merely respect, show him/her that you admire, trust, believe, and love him/her. Hear his/her thoughts and problems. Don’t only see the negative side and ask for a fight, but focus more on resolving the problem together.
Basically, be a person that capable of loving and loveable. The “new” you will make your partner rethink about the relationship and his/her opinion about you. This change process won’t be easy.